go in peace

Life is one beautiful, crazy, busy, confusing, hard, delightful, painful, joyful mess, isn’t it?

I’m back in Dallas after a rather insane Christmas “break” that included scattered extended family, two weddings out of state, and a job that doesn’t quit when the holidays come.  It was truly a joy to see friends and family–some of whom I hadn’t seen since before I left for Ethiopia.  There were sweet, sweet times–watching friends get married, dancing (and I can’t dance), eating, playing games, road trips, soaking in a panhandle sunset.  But there were hard times too–exhaustion, the continued sense of loving two worlds and only living in one, spending precious, hard time with my grandmother.  And now, I’ve been back in the swing of work and classes for a couple of weeks, wondering if that Christmas break ever really happened.  This semester will, I’m certain, be very busy and demanding, but I hope a bit less consuming than the last.  I just got a box of (very expensive) medical equipment in the mail, so I guess it’s official that I’m going to be the one poking and prodding and shining lights in your eyes:)

This month I’ve reflected a lot on what a strange, full, hard year 2008 was.  It was in January of last year that the reality that my time in Ethiopia was drawing to a close really struck me.  I began to prepare, as much as you can, to think about life here and, in essence, end life there.  And I guess it’s been that way ever since.  I wish I could say I’ve learned how to deal with such a drastic transition, but I don’t have those words of wisdom.  Rather, I have continued to learn that the heart of the Father is so much larger, more encompassing, more faithful than I can begin to imagine.  He loves the world in a way I must learn much of.  His love, through suffering, granted the peace, redemption, and restoration that we daily long for and fight for.

I’m reading Luke.  Jesus’ words of LIFE and acts of healing strike me anew.

“As Jesus went, the people pressed around him. And there was a woman who had had a discharge of blood for twelve years, and though she had spent all her living on physicians, she could not be healed by anyone.

She came up behind him and touched the fringe of his garment, and immediately her discharge of blood ceased. And Jesus said, “Who was it that touched me?” When all denied it, Peter said, “Master, the crowds surround you and are pressing in on you!” But Jesus said, “Someone touched me, for I perceive that power has gone out from me.”

And when the woman saw that she was not hidden, she came trembling, and falling down before him declared in the presence of all the people why she had touched him, and how she had been immediately healed.

And he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace.”

Would that my faith would cause me to fall at His feet.