Words

Till we lay these weapons at your feet, Lord
How long, how long
Till we call all hatred obsolete, Lord
How long, how long
Till we walk like lovers thru Bethlehem
How long, how long
Till the lion lies down with the lamb, Lord
How long, how long

Too late
I know it’s not too late
To wrestle with this angel
Higher and higher
Don’t let go
Higher and higher
Before we know
How does it end
How does it end
We’re all riding on the last train
Trying to find our way home again

Till we wash the blood from the hands of our fathers
How long
We’re all sisters and brothers, sons and daughters
How long, how long
Our eyes all shine in different colors we cry, Lord
How long
Our dreams our tears are all the same by and by, Lord
How long, how long

Too late
I know it’s not too late
To climb up Jacob’s ladder
Higher and higher
Don’t let go
Higher and higher
Before we know
How does it end
How does it end
We’re all riding on the last train
Trying to find our way home again

It’s not too late

Idea #21 (Not Too Late)
Ohio, album Over the Rhine

On Christmas

Come, Thou long expected Jesus
Born to set Thy people free;
From our fears and sins release us,
Let us find our rest in Thee.

–Charles Wesley

Though it doesn’t feel quite like Christmas–it’s warm and sunny, my family isn’t here, I’m not going to be eating turkey or fudge–this is still an incredible time to reflect on our greatest Hope of all.  I hope you have a joy-filled Christmas and are blessed by your time with family and friends.  May all our hearts be strengthened to say, “Come, thou long expected Jesus!”

 

On my mind

I had a lot to say, and I tend to be long-winded (verbose, loquacious, or garrulous—maybe I did learn something from all that GRE cramming after all!). The following is not in chronological order, but thought order. I know, that can be bothersome to OCD people (myself included☺).

From Washington DC, Tuesday night
B46 is going to Atlanta. I just passed by the gate as I went in search of Starbucks to warm me up from my cold, cramped, airport-seat nap. It hurt a little to see Atlanta up on the screen—Atlanta is close to that other life of mine, to friends and family and church and community and Wal-Mart and Christmas and comfort. But I’m not at B46. My gate is B45, and it’s going to Frankfurt. This way of life, this saying, “I live in East Africa” is normal now, but it doesn’t really get easier. When I’m in Ethiopia, I wish for things in the US. And when I am in the US, I long for my work and life and staff and patients in Ethiopia. I suppose this could come across as discontentment, but I don’t really think that’s the case. I deeply love both of my lives and am grateful for the privilege of living them. My restlessness, then, must come from something else—the almost inexpressible longing for the otherness of a world we don’t have yet. Some days I’m far too weak and frail to even want to press on to that world, and maybe today is one of them. If someone in B46 wanted to trade with me, I’d be tempted to take up his offer. But it wouldn’t make me happy. I know that, even though I wish I didn’t have to right now. So I’ll keep sitting here (freezing) in my seat, and I’ll board the plane, and I’ll go back to the place that, for now, is my appointed home.

Adjusting may not be so easy . . .
The other day I was driving down Ridgewood road in Jackson—a nice, 4-lane road through mainly residential areas. Up ahead, a man with a leaf blower stepped from the curb into the road. I just saw him out of the corner of my eye, and my mind quickly reacted “Swerve!! There’s a donkey in the road!!”
Yeah. I had to remind myself (out loud) that in this country there are NOT donkeys in the middle of city roads. Adjusting, I thought, will hold its challenges when I return in March.

Waiting Rooms and Weddings
This is the reason my 12 days in the States flew by. I arrived in Jackson on a Wednesday night, and flew out at 6am the next morning for Texas. I was able to spend three days with my mom, some of my extended family, and most importantly my grandmother. While I was there, my Oma would usually wake up when we urged her to, and while she was not speaking more than a word here and there, she would raise her eyebrows and follow the conversation. When she said, “I love you” to me, all the hassle and frustration and questions with coming back faded away. She has a long road ahead of her, and my family is weary—that makes it hard to leave again, but I know that she is in the hands of our ever-gracious Father. While in Jackson, I caught up with friends, celebrated an early Christmas with my family, shopped, collected medications and supplies for the project, worked on grad applications, and slept very little. It’s crazy and exhausting to have been here for such a short trip, especially when there are so many people I wanted to see or talk but didn’t have time to connect with. But it was worth it, so worth it.

It was such a joy to be at my friend’s wedding, and to share such good times with my group of close (but now very scattered) college friends.

I think I’ll live off the joy of those times for weeks to come☺

My favorite photo of Peter and Bethany that I randomly shot as they were leaving the reception (in the rain):-)

From Germany, Wednesday morning
Now I’m in the Frankfurt airport, and my beef with T-mobile continues. They don’t like me, so I can’t get online—that’s a little frustrating, because one last chance at high-speed wireless would be really nice. On the flight here, a new realization struck me: Lufthansa Airlines wants to make me fat. I chose the pasta over turkey and dressing, thinking the pasta had the chance to be more innocuous. But it was so much better than anticipated—I had tortellini in a marina and cheese sauce, fresh bread and butter, and Asian-inspired steamed cold vegetables (I know that sounds like it doesn’t go with pasta, but it did). After I finished all of that, I speared the grapes out of the fruit cup. The last piece of fruit looked like a chunk of cantaloupe. I heartily bit into it, only to realize it was cheddar cheese! Good, rich, smooth, perfect cheddar cheese. I was already full, but I just couldn’t pass it up. When I finished that, I tasted the dessert (which I’m always wary of on airplanes)—Mmmm. Chewy, rich brownie, real whipped cream, and a strawberry. Like I said, Lufthansa wants to make me fat. And apparently I am just fine with that idea.

Looking ahead
So now–to go back, to finish well. That’s a daunting task for me to face. I know these next months may well be some of my hardest in Addis, partly because some good friends are no longer around, partly because I will be beginning to think about transitioning back to life in the US. I want, though, to be really focused and use this time well. I don’t know how to do that, just that I should, I must. All of life is our race, and there’s never a time we are allowed to quit. But within that race I think there are sections where we have to really concentrate, speed up, not stop too early. This is that time for me. I can’t imagine that my days in Ethiopia will be over after March, but I know that this season will be. It will be a busy time, as we have two teams coming, the TB project to complete, and the Kolfe work to truly get off the ground now. I know that while it will be a hard few months, it will fly by. And then I’ll be sitting in this airport again wondering how the time could possibly be over, wondering how I could leave this life in Ethiopia.

And I’m definitely back, Friday morning
This morning I was riding the public transport minibus in to the project. Taking advantage of the fact that I had a good seat and it wasn’t crowded, I was reading the Economist to wile away the time (yeah, so I already stick out like a sore thumb—why not read and drink my thermos of tea on the way?!). So there I am, reading and bouncing along, when I notice a ROACH on my Economist. A roach. And not a small one. Those of you who know me well know that I hate roaches, probably more than any other creature. They make me eeeek like a sissy girl. So my natural reaction was to EEEEEK out on the minibus, but by some force deep within I managed to remain calm. I turned the magazine over and started flicking the roach to the floor, and eventually he got the message. Then, of course, I had to wonder where the roach came from in the first place. I glanced up, only to wonder how many more could potentially fall on me from the aged vinyl ceiling. Ugh. Not a thought to dwell on. So I kept reading about the 2008 US elections, and after awhile thought maybe living in Africa wasn’t so bad after all.

 

Crazy busy days

I’m back to packing. Can’t believe this time in the US is over–it’s flown in a rush or traveling, family, friends, errands, emails, shopping, and a very little sleeping. It’s been hard and good to be here–I was blessed to spend three days with my grandmother and family in Texas, and have spent the past week in Jackson. My sweet friends Bethany and Peter got married on Saturday, and most of my core group of good college friends made it to the wedding. We had some really rich times of hanging out and catching up, which I am incredibly grateful for. I’m not quite ready for a 30 hour trip, but I’m looking forward to settling back into life in Addis. I love routine:) Please pray for safe travels and no customs hassles!

Airports, pay phones, and wireless internet

I’m in Charlotte.  I’m tired.  But I’m glad to be here.  All my flights so far have been uneventful, and I even had the fun surprise of watching snow fall in DC (would have been way less fun if it had caused major delays, but it was all right).  I’ve spent a frustrating few hours talking to ticket agents, redialing the phone-card #, and trying to remember people’s phone numbers!  Cell phones are wonderful inventions:)  So far I’ve had one diet coke and am sipping a starbucks vanilla latte right now:)  Mmmm.  As I was unable to change my destination, I’m headed to Jackson this evening and will fly out early tomorrow for Texas.  And that’s the scoop!

Oh, and the internet is amazing–lightening speed–and free!!

Plans and Planes

Just wanted to post a quick update and ask for your prayers.  My grandmother is very ill, and due to the kindness of an angel garbed in a green Eth Airlines suit, I was able to change my ticket dates.  So I’m leaving Ethiopia today and am headed to somewhere on the other side of the Atlantic!  I’m not sure where yet, but somehow I hope to end up in Texas on Wednesday.  Please pray for my grandmother, my family, and me, as well as for my coworkers here who will be carrying heavier burdens since Derek and I will be gone.
As I’ve been rushing around to pack tonight, I keep discovering piles of things I need to sort through.  I gave up long ago on getting much sleep tonight, so I went ahead and sat down on the floor to go through a stack of cards I’ve received over the past year and a half.  They made me laugh, smile, remember, get teary, and just be overwhelmed with how blessed I am.  I have so many incredible friends and family members—it’s astounding, really.  I will never be able to say thank you for all the ways you have encouraged me, supported me, walked with me, and joined with me in this life and work.
Thanks.  Peace to you.